When does Adoption Become a Possible Path to Building a Family?
One of the moms I interviewed about adoption said this:
“I wonder if people striving to have a family realize that there are so many children in the United States (over 100,000), and all over the world, waiting to be adopted. God has made so many kids that need the love of a family.”
Are you or someone you know considering adoption? November is National Adoption Awareness Month, a time to raise awareness and encourage others to embrace that every child needs a permanent home and a loving family. Let’s chat about how God calls some of us to adopt.
Unity and partnership are vital when considering adoption.
As my friend Carol shared, listening for God’s guidance individually and as a couple initiated the beginning of the adoption process—
When my husband Ken and I had trouble conceiving, my mother counseled me that God had a special plan for my life, not a second-rate plan. How did He want to build our family?
My husband and I took some time to court the adoption concept:
- First, we prayed that our decision would be united. Neither of us wanted to bring a child into our lives if we were half-hearted. This was something we needed to do together.
Our desire to adopt depended on God’s will and affirmation for every step we took. We knew He would give us the grace, strength, and wisdom to work through challenges.
Once we decided to adopt, we never looked back.
- Second, we gathered information by reading magazines and books and exploring internet testimonials. We networked with adoptive families to learn from their experiences and establish a support system.
- Third, we spoke to several agencies with an open-mind. When we started our adoption, a caseworker told me it was time to stop wondering if I was going to have a baby and start focusing on when.
“A child was out there for us, specifically designed for our family.”
Over time, God gifted Carol and her husband with several children through adoption—a son through domestic adoption and four daughters via international adoption. Carol says that she and her husband did not intend to have a large family, but God let them know they had room in their hearts to love more of His children. Adoption has been the greatest calling in their lives.
God directs couples to build a family in different ways.
After experiencing a miscarriage and then later tragically losing a special needs daughter, Mary and Jim grieved for months. They continued to pray silently together every morning, surrendering to God’s will.
One day after church, Mary asked her husband, “When is it time to move forward instead of looking backward?” Within 24 hours, a woman from church called and said, “I’m going to Romania to adopt a child. Would you like to go with me?”
Before responding, Mary and Jim met with a pediatrician who had worked at a Romanian orphanage. He showed them a picture of a six-year-old girl, Ann, who he had befriended. “This child is my favorite,” he said, “I’m looking for someone to adopt her.” The timing of his statement prompted them to move forward with a guided commitment. They wanted to adopt if God allowed it to be ‘right’ for both Ann and them.
Mary met Ann in Romania and brought home a video of her to show Jim and a pediatric specialist. Although Ann appeared to have some emotional issues after having been orphaned, the doctor said there was no reason why they should not move forward and adopt her. Committed to love and support Ann, and knowing that Mary’s experience as a child psychologist would benefit her, they contacted an adoption agency. Sixteen months later, they were blessed to have Ann become their daughter.
Prayerful adoptions seek God’s guidance and are blessed with His direction.
Whether you are called to adopt or not, you can make a difference in supporting the placement of children in loving homes (see below). In May, we will honor National Foster Care Month and discuss another way to help displaced children.
You can pray now to the God of the Holy Bible about how He wants you to support adoption.
Lord Jesus, Your Scripture says: Speak up for those who cannot speak up for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. (Proverbs 31:8) Show me a way I can support those who have been orphaned, or are about to be born, and need a loving home …for in You the fatherless find compassion. (Hosea 14:3)
If our family is to be built through the adoption of Your children, direct my husband and me to pray individually, together, and be in one accord. Give us signal graces that affirm the direction You want us to take. Open the door to the right opportunities. Help us find a supportive faith community that will pray to strengthen our resolve and help fortify us.
If You are calling us in a different direction, lead us to provide assistance —our time, financial resources or talents— to persons and institutions who are involved in the adoption process. Use us to defend the weak and the fatherless (Psalm 82:3 NIV). Prompt us to pour on the prayers for Your orphaned children to find the love and kindness You desire them to experience. For Your Word instructs us: Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress. (James 1:27 NIV)
Protect Your orphaned children throughout the earth, shield them with the armor of Christ, and bless them by knowing You and finding Your love. Amen.
Moving forward…
Ask yourself this:
Have my husband and I asked God what His plan is to build our family?
Is adopting a child from another birth family a possibility? As you pray about it, each family considering adoption needs to enter the process for the right reason and think through their expectations. Among the Focus on the Family resources is an article about Adopting Children noting:
Adoption has to be focused on the needs of the kids rather than the needs and desires of the adults. Take the time to evaluate your motivation in adoption. If it is to “round out your family” because you want a girl, or to fill an unmet need to be a parent, your tendency will be to put your needs before the child’s needs, which doesn’t help anyone.
Katie Overstreet, “Adopting Children”, Focus on the Family
Family Life Today provides interviews with parents who have adopted which can provide additional insight.
Consider this challenge:
- Prayerfully pursue adoption or look for opportunities to help those who are in the process such as, bringing meals when the new child arrives, running errands to relieve the intensity of a new child acclimating to the family, babysitting to give the parents a break.
- Network with adoptive families and get informed about their experience.
- Research certified adoption agencies in your state and discern which ones are your best fit.
Please share this post with someone who might benefit.
Peace be with you,
Kimberly
P.S. You won’t want to miss the following posts that will equip you for your journey:
- What Daily Devotion Works Best to Inspire your Time with God?
- Where to Find Peace when Experiencing Miscarriage (Part 2)
- How Can You Get Personal with God Using His Language of Love?
- What Prayer Book Does God Provide as Your ‘Go-To’?