What’s an Easy Way to Begin Joint Prayer about Infertility?

Glass vase with gerbera yellow daisies and lavender flowers sitting on a table. Scripture: Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23 NIV

In the last post, we chatted about how essential it is for you to have support in joint prayer as you face infertility issues. Surrendering your concerns to God with another provides deep spiritual support. Whether your husband is your ultimate prayer partner, or someone else, it’s important to find the best way to effectively pray together.

If one of you is intimidated about praying with each other out loud, there is an easy alternative. Let’s chat about it.

Find Spiritual Intimacy -Pray Silently

In their radio interview with Dr. Gary Chapman (author of 5 Traits of a Healthy Family and The 5 Love Languages), Dave and Ann Wilson of Family Life Today discuss what a big step it is for a husband and wife to enter joint prayer. For some, it can be challenging. They may need to grow to feel safe in vocalizing their vulnerabilities while praying.

Dr. Chapman suggests starting with the simple method of praying silently. While Chapman directed this method to married couples, the following can be adapted to use with any prayer partner.

3 Simple Steps:

  1. Hold hands; close your eyes.
  2. Pray silently.
  3. Say ‘Amen’ when you get through praying and wait for them to say ‘Amen’.

Need a verse to start? Try one from the top of any post on this site.

As you pray jointly, listen to what enters your mind as you pray. You may not get feedback every time you pray. But one of you might receive direction, instruction, a word of wisdom, or encouragement from the Holy Spirit. Share what has been revealed to you. Respond to each other with “Thanks for sharing.”

Praying together affects how you treat each other. Family Life host Dave Wilson shared a past Gallup poll revealing that within our culture, the divorce rate is 50%; in the church, it is 27%, but for a couple who prays together regularly, it’s 1 in 1,021.

Give Praying Silently a Chance

After praying together out loud in conversational prayer for years, my husband and I decided to try silent prayer. We began by holding hands, quoting one line of Scripture—”For nothing is impossible with God, Luke 1:37 NIV—then closed our eyes and prayed silently. (Note: Some who use this type of prayer agree on the issues to present to God before they begin.)

We liked having another way to talk to God. Both of us agreed that the experience was tranquil, and we are now alternating this style of prayer with praying out loud.

You can Pray to our God of the Holy Bible about How to Effectively Pray Silently

Lord Jesus, (your husband’s name) and I want to grow together in our faith and trust in You. (Romans 10:9) [If your prayer partner is not your spouse, start here] Help (your prayer partner’s name) and me find an ideal time for dedicated prayer in silence.

Direct us to identify a Scripture that focuses our praise and worship upon who You are and what You do for us.

As we reflect on Your Word in silence, we look forward to talking to You about the infertility challenges we face, as well as other needs.

Remind us not to be afraid of silence but to be patient and listen for the Holy Spirit to respond to us. As we practice this special way of communicating with You, prepare us to pray together out loud eventually.

Thank You for receiving us in prayer and allowing us to surrender to Your will.

We embrace the teaching in Your Holy Bible (Romans 10:22-25 NIV). Let us:

draw near to You with sincere hearts in full assurance of faith,

hold unswervingly to the hope we profess because You are faithful,

spur one another on toward love and good deeds,

not give up meeting together, but encourage one another.


With Your peace ruling our hearts (Colossians 3:15), we ask all this in Your name, Jesus.  Amen.

Moving Forward…

Ask yourself this:

Now that I am building spiritual intimacy with my husband through prayer, how can I display an attitude of loving service toward him?

[If your prayer partner is not your husband] How can I uplift and pray for the person who is praying with me?

Try this challenge:

Think about embracing an attitude of service toward your husband as Jesus did when He washed His disciples’ feet (John 13:1-5). Per Dr. Gary Chapman, ask your husband these 3 questions regularly:

  1. What can I do to help you?
  2. How can I make your life easier?
  3. How can I be a better wife?

Until next time, peace be with you, Kimberly

P. S. See if your husband will consider reading “Who is Your Ultimate Prayer Partner” (Part 1) and (Part 2), and say the closing prayers with you. Ask him if he would be willing to review the FREE Guide “4 Steps to Overcome Fears and Worries?” and “What Steps Do You Take to Draw Close to God Each Day?

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